The Happy Family written by Bertha Muzzy Bower
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Bertha Muzzy Bower >> The Happy Family
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"Happy, you'll have to forgive him," said Weary at last. "Go tell him
yuh don't feel hard towards him. We want some supper."
"Aw, gwan. I _ain't_ forgive him, and I never will. I--"
Big Medicine stepped into the breach. With his face contorted into a
grin to crimple one's spine, with a voice to make one's knees buckle,
he went up to Happy Jack and thrust that horrible grin into Happy's
very face. "By cripes, you forgive Jakie, and you do it quick!" he
thundered. "Think you're going to ball up the eating uh the whole
outfit whilst you stand around acting haughty? Why, by cripes, I've
killed men in the Coconino County for _half_ what you're doing! You'll
wish, by cripes, that Jakie _had_ slit your hide; you'll consider that
woulda been an easy way out, before I git half through with yuh. You
walk right up and shake hands with him, and you tell him that yuh love
him to death and are his best friend and always will be! Yuh _hear_
me?"
Happy Jack heard. The Happy Family considerately moved aside and left
him a clear path, and they looked on without a word while he took
Jakie's limp hand, muttered tremulously, "Aw, fergit it, Jakie. I know
yuh didn't mean nothing by it, and I forgive yuh," and backed away
again.
Jakie wept, this time with gratitude. They got him inside a tent,
unrolled his bed and persuaded him to lie down upon it. They searched
the mess-box, found all that was left of a quart bottle of whisky,
took it outside and divided it gravely and appreciatively among
themselves. There was not much to divide.
Happy Jack took charge of the pots and pans, with the whole Happy
Family to help him hurry supper, while Jakie forgot his woes in sleep
and the sun set upon a quiet camp.
Next morning, Jakie was up and cooking breakfast at the appointed
time, and the camp felt that the incident of the evening before might
well be forgotten. The coffee was unusually good that morning, even
for Jakie. He was subdued, was Jakie, and his soft, brown eyes were
humble whenever they met the eyes of Happy Jack. His smile was
infrequent and fleeting, and his voice more deprecating than ever.
Aside from these minor changes everything seemed the same as before
the sheepmen had stopped at camp.
That afternoon, however, came an aftermath in the shape of Happy Jack
galloping wildly out to where the others were holding a herd and
"cutting out." He was due to come and help, so nobody paid any
attention to his haste, though it was his habit to take his time. He
shot recklessly by the outer fringes of the "cut" and yelled in a way
to stampede the whole bunch. "Jakie's _dying_," he shouted, wild-eyed.
"He's drunk up all the lemon extract and most uh the v'nilla before I
could stop him!"
Chip and Weary, riding in hot haste to the camp, found that it was
true as far as the drinking was concerned. Jakie was stretched upon
his back breathing unpleasantly, and beside him were two flat bottles
of half-pint size, one empty and the other very nearly so; the tent
and Jakie's breath reeked of lemon and vanilla. Chip sent back for
help.
For the second time the Flying U roundup was brought to an involuntary
pause because of its cook. There was but one thing to do, and Chip did
it. He broke camp, loaded Jakie into the bed-wagon, and headed at a
gallop for Dry Lake in an effort to catch the next train for Great
Falls. Whether he sent Jakie to the hospital or to the undertaker was
a question he did not attempt to answer; one thing was certain,
however, that he must send him to one of those places as soon as might
be.
That night, just before the train arrived, he sent another telegram to
Johnny Scott at rush rates. He said simply:
"Send another cook immediately this one all in am returning him in
baggage coach this train.
"C. BENNETT."
Just after midnight he went to the station and received an answer,
which is worth repeating:
"C. BENNETT, Dry Lake: Supply cooks running low am sending only
available don't kill this one or may have to go without season on
cooks closed fine attached to killing, running with dogs or
keeping in captivity this one drunk look for him in Pullman have
bribed porter. J.G. SCOTT."
It was sent collect, which accounts perhaps for the facetious remarks
which it contained.
It was morning when that train arrived, because it was behind time for
some reason, but Chip, Weary, Pink and Big Medicine were at the depot
to meet it. The new cook having been reported drunk, they wanted to
make sure of getting him off the train in case he proved unruly. They
were wise in the ways of intoxicated cooks. They ran to the steps of
the only Pullman on the train and were met by the grinning porter.
"Yas sah, he's in dah--but Ah cyan't git 'im off, sah, to save mah
soul," he explained toothily. "Ah put 'im next de front end, sah, but
he's went to sleep and Ah cyan't wake 'em up, an' Ah cyan't tote 'em
out nohow. Seems lak he weighs a ton!"
"By cripes, _we'll_ tote him out," declared Big Medicine, pushing
ahead of Chip in his enthusiasm. "You hold the train, and we'll git
'im. Show us the bunk."
The porter pointed out the number and retreated to the steps that he
might signal the conductor. The four pushed up through the vestibule
and laid hold upon the berth curtains.
"Mamma!" ejaculated Weary in a stunned tone. "Look what's in here,
boys!"
They thrust forward their heads and peered in at the recumbent form.
"Honest to grandma--it's old Patsy!" The voice of Big Medicine brought
heads out all along down the car.
"Come out uh that!" Four voices made up the chorus, and Patsy opened
his eyes reluctantly.
"Py cosh, I not cook chuck for you fellers ven I'm sick," he mumbled
dazedly.
"Come out uh that, you damned Dutch belly-robber!" bawled Big Medicine
joyously, and somewhere behind a curtain a feminine shriek was heard
at the shocking sentence.
Four pairs of welcoming hands laid hold upon Patsy; four pairs of
strong arms dragged him out of the berth and through the narrow aisle
to the platform. The conductor, the head brakeman and the porter were
chafing there, and they pulled while the others pushed. So Patsy was
deposited upon the platform, grumbling and only half sober.
"Anyway, we've got him back," Weary remarked with much satisfaction
the next day when they were once more started toward the range land.
"When Irish blows in again, we'll be all right."
"By cripes, yuh just give me a sight uh that Irish once, and he'll
_come_, if I have to rope and drag 'im!" Big Medicine took his own way
of intimating that he held no grudge. "Did yuh hear what Patsy said,
by cripes, when he was loading up the chuck-wagon at the store? He
turned in all that oil and them olives and _anchovies_, yuh know, and
he told Tom t' throw in about six cases uh blueberries. I was standin'
right handy by, and he turns around and scowls at me and says: 'Py
cosh, der vay dese fellers eats pie mit derselves, I have to fill oop
der wagon mit pie fruit alreatty!' And then the old devil turns around
with his back to me, but yuh can skin me for a coyote if I didn't
ketch a grin on 'is face!"
They turned and looked back to where Patsy, seated high upon the
mess-wagon, was cracking his long whip like pistol shots and swearing
in Dutch at his four horses as he came bouncing along behind them.
"Well, there's worse fellers than old Patsy," Slim admitted
ponderously. "I don't want no more Jakie in mine, by golly."
"I betche Jakie cashes in, with all that lemon in him," prophesied
Happy Jack with relish. "Dirty little Dago--it'd serve him right.
Patsy wouldn't uh acted like that in a thousand years."
They glanced once more behind them, as if they would make sure that
the presence of Patsy was a reality. Then, with content in their
hearts, they galloped blithely out of the lane and into the grassy
hills.
THE END.
* * * * *
_WHAT THE CRITICS SAY OF_
CHIP OF THE FLYING U.
BY M. BOWER.
* * * * *
"'Chip' is all right. Better than 'The Virginian.'"
--_Brooklyn Eagle_.
"The name of B.M. Bower will stand for something readable in the
estimation of every man, and most every woman, who reads this fine new
story of Montana ranch and its dwellers."--_Publisher & Retailer_.
"Its qualities and merit can be summed up in the brief but sufficient
statement that it is thoroughly delightful."
--_Albany Times-Union_.
"For strength of interest, vivid description, clever and convincing
character, drawing and literary merit it is the surprise of the year."
--_Walden's Stationer and Printer_.
"It is an appealing story told in an active style which fairly
sparkles in reproducing the atmosphere of the wild and woolly West. It
is consistently forceful and contains a quantity of refreshing
comedy."
--_Philadelphia Press_.
"Bound to stand among the famous novels of the year."
--_Baltimore American_.
"'The Virginian' has found many imitators, but few authors have come
as near duplicating Owen Wister's magnetic hero as has B.M. Bower,
'Chip of the Flying U.'"--_Philadelphia Item_.
"B.M. Bower has portrayed but few characters, but these he has
pictured with the strong and yet delicate stroke of a true master. The
atmosphere of the West is perfect; one sees and feels the vibrant,
vital life of the ranch activities all through the telling of the
story."
--_Cincinnati Times-Star_.
"It brims over with humor showing the bright and laughing side of
ranch life. It is a story which will delightfully entertain the
reader."
--_Portland Journal_.
"The story contains strength of interest, vivid descriptions, clever
and convincing character drawing and literary merits, and the author
lays on the colors with a master's touch."--_Albany Evening Journal_.
12MO, CLOTH BOUND, COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS, $.25
G.W. DILLINGHAM CO., PUBLISHERS, NEW YORK
* * * * *
WHAT THE CRITICS SAY OF
THE RANGE DWELLERS.
BY B.M. BOWER.
"A clever and humorous story, delightfully clean and wholesome, and
possessing enough of the dramatic and dangerous element to keep the
imagination excited to the end."--_The Nashville American_.
"A bright, jolly, entertaining yarn without a dull page."--_The
Chicago Inter-Ocean_.
"One of the most charming and appealing of all Western novels. There
is action and vivacity at all times, and the reader's interest never
sways for an instant. The story is admirably written and runs along
smoothly at all times."--_Philadelphia Press_.
"Here are every day, genuine cowboys, just as they really exist,
spirited action, a range feud between two families, and a Romeo and
Juliet courtship in the Far West which make easy reading. Mr. Bower
knows his wild west intimately and writes of it entertainingly."--_Des
Moines Register and Leader_.
"Told with a good deal of humor and a lot of unusual spirit. A very
clever book--one that has more atmosphere than usual, and which can be
picked up at any time to fill a long felt want for excitement."
--_Philadelphia Inquirer_.
"A tale to set the blood tingling. It is a story of the West, with the
scene laid on a Montana cattle ranch. A story well told and a story
worth reading."--_St. Louis Republic_.
"Mr. Bower has portrayed but few characters, but these he has pictured
with the strong and yet delicate stroke of a true master. The
atmosphere of the West is perfect; one sees and feels the vibrant
vital life of the ranch activities all through the telling of the
story."--_Pittsburgh Dispatch_.
"Has many stirring situations and exciting incidents illustrative of
existence in the open."--_Boston Budget-Beacon_.
"The book is vigorous, with the bracing open air of the Far
West."--_Rochester Herald_.
_12mo, Cloth Bound_
_Beautiful Color Illustrations by Charles M. Russell, $1.25_
G.W. DILLINGHAM CO., Publishers, NEW YORK
* * * * *
RAW GOLD
BY BERTRAND W. SINCLAIR
* * * * *
"This is a stirring story of the Canadian Northwest and the Northwest
Mounted Police. The unwritten history of this wonderful and intrepid
body of men must be a long way from the dry-as-dust histories on the
shelves. It is an open question if people do not get more real history
in a clear, clean-cut tale of this kind, with its strong character
portrayal and its vivid local coloring, than could be obtained in any
other way."
--_St. Louis Times_.
"Action enough to thrill the dullest sort of reader."
--_Albany Times-Union_.
"The delineation of characters in this tale of the Northwest Mounted
Police is splendidly portrayed. They are flesh-and-blood
personalities. There is something of mystery, bits of sharp action,
color, description, life. A well-told story."
--_Pittsburg Dispatch_.
"The story is sensational, but is full of animation. Scenes shift
rapidly and the actors play the game of life fearlessly and like men.
The love theme runs through it all and pleasantly."
--_Chicago Tribune_.
"It is strong, virile, captivating and well told."
--_Denver Republican_.
"A rattling good story. There is sentiment of the kind that fits with
the open sky and life in the saddle, and the whole story moves with a
swing and reality that are refreshing in the extreme."--_New York
Times_.
"Wild, indeed, is the West pictured by Mr. Sinclair."
--_Boston Transcript_.
"The tale, rapid in action and clearly told, is one of the best
written on the Canadian West."--_Louisville Courier-Journal_.
_12mo, Cloth bound, Illustrated, $1.50._
* * * * *
G.W. DILLINGHAM CO., PUBLISHERS, NEW YORK
* * * * *
WYOMING
_A STORY OF THE OUTDOOR WEST_
BY
WILLIAM MACLEOD RAINE
_Author of "Ridgeway of Montana," "A Daughter of Raasay," Etc._
* * * * *
In this vivid story the author has captured the breezy charm of
"Cattleland," and brings to us the turbid life of the frontier with
all its engaging dash and vigor. It is the kind of book one reads at a
sitting far into the night.
A young woman, fresh from the conventional East, drives her motor car
into an absorbing adventure which is the first of a series of dramatic
events that tread upon each other's heels and grow more intense and
thrilling from page to page.
The gallant vagabond, Ned Bannister, who enthralls the heroine's
fancy, against her will, is reputed to be a lawless desperado of the
worst type. Yet the reader joins with the wholly delightful young
heroine in yielding him full sympathy. How the mystery is solved to
the satisfaction of all is one of the pleasures that must be reserved
for a reading.
The characters each and all are drawn with masterly vigor and help
forward the swift movement of the plot.
_12mo. Illustrated. Cloth bound, $1.50._
* * * * *
G.W. DILLINGHAM COMPANY
PUBLISHERS NEW YORK
* * * * *
WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT
RIDGWAY OF MONTANA
BY WILLIAM MACLEOD RAINE
* * * * *
"To-day I had it out with 'Ridgway.' I opened the book and I did not
lay it down till I had raced eagerly through it. I find it a story
with many elements of power in its treatment of plot and personality.
The men are all well-marked types. The women are all possible and
pleasant beings. The story gives dramatically the inner life of a
mining camp. The atmosphere of wild nature and primeval human passion
is well sustained. The exuberance of detail and suggestion, the easy
drawing of character, the fine massing of effects, all show a strength
and fire in the author which ought to give us a line of good books
from his pen in the coming days."
--EDWIN MARKHAM, in _The New York American_.
"Whatever else the reader of this novel may say, he certainly will be
forced to admit that it is highly interesting. Mr. Raine is not only
skillful in devising incidents which compel unwearied attention; he
also has the rarer and finer craftsmanship which enables him to create
characters that have a high degree of personal charm."--_Boston
Transcript_.
"A story engrossing all the way through."--_New York World_.
"It is a real pleasure to pick up a book like this one. To use an old
phrase, the story is one which can hardly be put down."
--_Minneapolis Tribune_.
"The action starts with the first line, and there is no suspension
until the last word is written. It is a story of thrilling situations,
busy people and stirring times. Once started to read it there is no
quitting the book."--_Denver Republican_.
"Full of action and written with remarkable vigor."
--_Charleston News and Courier_.
"Mr. Raine's experience as a newspaper man has stood him in good
stead. He knows the corrupt workings of politicians, the venality of
biased courts, the weakness of the human heart when tempted by gold.
More, he knows the details by which all these are made manifest in
unjust laws, unfair verdicts and treachery to one's best friends."
--_Denver Post_.
"The political contest, the love scenes, and the character drawing
give this story of life in the mining country great strength and
charm."--_Pittsburg Dispatch_.
"Western stories are always in demand, and of these William MacLeod
Raine is the most popular and successful writer. This is an
exceptionally entertaining book."--_Albany Times-Union_.
_12mo. Cloth bound. Illustrated, $1.50_
* * * * *
G.W. DILLINGHAM CO., PUBLISHERS, NEW YORK
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